Boostknit-Polymer Military Techgogs

Does it sometimes feel like you're literally ripping your face off?
You know, when you wear competitors steel composite techgogs...?
Well then. We've got the technology you need!
With new Boostknit-Polymer, this bad boy is 99.99%* lighter than the competition!
And with BLUE LED's you dont have to look like a evil gonk while wearing them!
Get yours today! Or you'll never know how light we feel. Featherlight**
 
 
*We couldn't be arsed buying the competition models..so we guessed. 
**Not actually as light as a feather. In fact, in certain marketing tests they say ours feel heavier than the competition.. but leave that part out of the marketing materials for god sakes.