Trendy Ultralight Exo-Jacks

Have you heard about Exo-Jacks?
Great, we have too. 
Do you know why you've heard of them?
Because they're fucking dope. 
Like, just, the bestest of best. 
Why are you not buying them though?
Like, no one is! Really! Everyone talks about them.
But no one buys them?
Like why?
Are they not cool enough for you plebs?
Sure they cost a couple months of eddies but..
ARE THEY NOT COOL LOOKING?