Worn Scav Field Jacket

Worn... Scav.. Field Jacket. All words that sound un-sexy...right?
Well, I've got some news for you! We've made them all sexy again. Like walking into the bar with nothing at all. Sexy! Uber Sexy! Sex appeal to the max! 

Okay Janice, who the fuck wrote this script for our new jacket?
It's fucking AWFUL! No one reads like that. No one TALKS like that. I know it's an AD, but DAMN. Get me a new draft ASAP! NOW!!!! Otherwise... I promise you Janice, HEADS WILL ROLL!